An Interview with Kay Frazier
Kay Frazier and I renewed our acquaintance years ago when she joined Unity, having first met
at Prairie Unitarian Society. I had fun learning more about Kay’s varied interests, including
what she liked about Dr. Spock.
What would you like to share with the community about your life?
Kay grew up near several small towns in Iowa. Her brother, sister-in-law and sister still live there. Her son and his wife live in San Francisco. They talk via text and phone and get together at least once a year in person.
“There were some stressful times when I was young. For various reasons, I particularly struggled as a teen to fit in both at school and at home. I failed the audition for the high school choir one year because I was so nervous I had trouble breathing. I wanted to be like Dr. Spock on Star Trek—just be logical.
“When I left for college, about 20 miles away, my world expanded beyond books and I started to heal. There were people from other countries, with other beliefs and values and perspectives. My deep curiosity and sense of humor started to return. I began meditation with the TM movement. I stopped believing in a god that would send people to eternal hell for not believing in Jesus ‘the right way.’ I explored various religions and joined the Unitarian fellowship.”
Kay continued exploring spirituality and healing as she moved to Chicago for a job after college. She joined a Unitarian church there, went to yoga classes, and started singing lessons. Kay furthered her college education and got a job as a mainframe computer programmer-analyst. According to one test she took, she was in the top 5% of that.
Married and with a toddler son, she and her husband moved to Madison. They continued going to Unitarian churches, attending Prairie Society for several years, which is where she met Jennifer. Kay studied Akashic (past life) and Reiki, a form of energy healing.
“Sadly, in 2008, a year before our son was to graduate from high school, my husband and I divorced. Ben stayed with his dad so he wouldn’t need to change schools.”
After about thirty years working to build logic in computer programs, Kay realized that logic alone would not “save the world.” First, she volunteered at MMSD as a tutor and mentor, and then quit computers to start working as a teacher’s assistant. She particularly enjoyed her stint in 4K.
“A few years after retiring from 4K, I began a one-year training to become a reading-writing tutor at the Children’s Dyslexia Center—just in time for COVID, the resigning of the administrative assistant, and a fledgling Zoom, complete with freezing and echoes. I just retired from the CDC, having successfully graduated most of my students.” Over the years, Kay enjoyed many creative endeavors, including sewing, singing, writing, crocheting, jewelry-making and coloring. Singing, coloring, and writing continue. Singing highlights for Kay include two operas at a small company and several weddings and funerals. She also published short memoir stories and poems in a few venues.
What brought you to Unity?
“Six months after my divorce, a woman in an Akashic session said I needed to go to a church with more heart, Unity. I joined and have been here ever since.
“I continue singing lessons with Brian Schultz, whom I find especially helpful. I briefly studied Peruvian shamanism, including a trip to Peru with paqos. I read numerous books to continue expanding my mind and grow emotionally and spiritually.”
Kay works at following Don Miguel Ruiz’ Four Agreements, finding this simple but not easy. She loves to create more joy, beauty, and love, especially for kids.
What are your favorite activities at Unity?
Kay participated in many Unity activities throughout the years. Besides contributing to our music programming, she has been a celebration assistant, prayer chaplain, greeter, Board Alternate, youth volunteer, and on the gardening, flower, social justice, and special events teams.
“I so respect and enjoy Kate’s work to grow the children’s program, as well as all the wonderful sermons, book studies, and ideas that Reverend Debra brings us.”
Is there anything you’d like to see Unity do that would make your experience even better?
“I wish we had a regular, larger choir like we had when I first joined Unity. I wish we’d invite St. Paul AME back. We invited them to view a documentary on Vel Phillips, and they then invited us to several of their health fairs.”